Deranged

Heart is beating loud,

Sweat dripping on the ground.

These are the only sounds that I could hear, overpowering Debussy’s Claire de Lune on the background – that bit of synthetic heaven cannot save me from the hell that my mind has been creating. My eyes are useless, for I chose to be blind. They were covered by fabrics of lies, my fantasy, my vice. I felt so weak and vulnerable, trusting only my sense of smell to tell whether he’s around. It’s bringing me thrill, and fear, and excitement – the sensation brings chill all over and makes my body tremble.

There it is…the fragrance that I’ve been waiting for and yet, wishing to never inhale again. It was the reason why I am here.

I was casted in a spell.

I was hypnotized.

He, became my drug.

The scent grew stronger and my skin started to bathe me more of my sweat.

Two pheromones wafting in the room, I wonder if I am the only fool.

I felt his fingertips landed on my right thigh, it made my heart beat faster and my lungs breathe deeper. His touch reverberated all over my body, it almost made me want to squirm.

I felt the first whip, and let out a moan. I felt the temperature on where it struck, changing from cold to hot. As he continued on lashing, my skin became numb and my mind was completely blank, for I am completely enthralled with his redolence. I know that I could be saved, but I don’t want to, and chose to be in here. No words could save me anymore.

He threw away the whip and bent over me, spreading my legs wide to expose the entire art of me, which he molded only for him. I felt him uniting with me, synching his rhythm and pace with my body. Hands caressing anywhere it reaches, breaths exchanging in deep gasps, lips showering each other’s skin.

Fear was gone.

It was heaven.

And now I could clearly hear Debussy’s music on the background.

Still soaked in sweat and hair was mussed, he looked at me from above and smiled.

“I love you,” I said. He paused, stood up and left.

It was the safe word after all.

 

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